An Old Man's Will (o)

My dear granddaughter, yet unborn,   
   I would speak if I had the time,
But I must write to you with haste,
   because I am feeling God's rage.
I am old, and, some might say rich,
   (or so they may think). 
Things would have been now,
   had I chosen another path.

You are innocently awake,
   in my daughter's womb.
Your life's just begun to take shape-
   perhaps to start where I cease.
And as you begin your life;
   I'll be dead, rotting in my grave.
Please know what I wish for you
  is only found by a few. 

Try to listen for a moment
   to what I say.
Take a look at all my mistakes,
Look at the fool that I was,
   and remember I'm leaving sad.
Try to find the happiness,
   the kind I never had.

Oh child!  The time went by so fast,
   soon I will depart.
In my persuit for happiness
   I've never sewed what I've reaped-
   of those who have crossed my path,
Taken all I could from them;
   so I could take again.

Years ago I bought in a whim
   what I wanted.
Now I know I was selfish,
   but realized it too late.
Happiness I never found,
   but I've shattered dreams in my wake,
Leaving my last few days haunted,
   with no chance to turn about.

My hand grows weary as I write
   these last few lines.
I feel lonesome, biding time   ,
   waiting for my own bitter end.
My young love, it's in your hands,
   now I will leave it all to you.
Please take your inheritance
   and do what I couldn't do.

It always seems to be too late
   when men find the truth.
Soon you will have to persue
  that road your life will use.
What I have, I give you all,
   in hope that my words don't fall
Under eyes as blind as mine.
   Seek the truth I couldn't find!                   


-dp-
(c)2-21-83